Zero - Prologue

It's exhausting. This life. Exciting and exhausting. Not that I want to complain. I love my life - it's glittering and shining - just like what I've always wanted.


As I throw myself on my bed all worn-out, I smiled - the smile of satisfaction. The tour finally over. Now I can relax all I want. Well, at least, for a couple of days. Max said that I have to go to a TV station for a talent show on Wednesday. As a guest artist. And there's something else to do on Thursday, and the next day, and the next.. I was just too tired to listen to him to know what's there in my schedule. He'll brag about it again anyway, first thing in the morning.


Gosh, look at this house. Or should I call it a mansion. It's been 3 months since I last 'live' here. I can't say I missed it but I surely missed this comfy bed I'm laying in. It's the only thing I'd think of every night before sleeping on the crappy tour bus bed. It feels so good to be home.


Home. My home. I finally have a home. The place I come to. This eight-bedrooms, five-bathrooms mansion with a swimming pool and a pool house I bought myself 2 years ago is my home. Only, I don't have anyone to come home to. It's only me, alone. Like always. I wish mom was still alive.


"Stupid, you can always come home to me!"


He said that to me long ago. With a big smile on his face. So welcoming. It can make you forget everything - your sadness, your loneliness, your sorrow. The only feelings I felt back then. It just make you want to smile too.


Eddie.
Would you still say that to me now?
Would you still smile at me so beautifully again?
I guess not.


This life that I'm living is supposed to be yours after all. I snatched away it from you.

Three - To Mom’s past, and my future.

When that day when mom takes her last breath finally came, I couldn’t shed a single tear. I cried myself to sleep the night before that and every single night since the day I found out about her condition. But never in front of her. Though I’m sure she knew.

But that day, I just stared at the lifeless, frail body the cancer had left her with, somehow secretly thanking God that her sufferings finally ended.

The second thought that crossed my mind that fateful morning when I realized she will never open her eyes no matter how many times I tried to wake her up is that, I was finally left alone in this world.

Two - Mom

"Mother, I'm home!" I shouted from the front door as I took off my shoes.

One - This small town.

"Yeah. That's her. She's all grown up now. I heard she's finishing high-school this year, that woman's child!"

I can hear you, hag.

"Look at her, she's becoming such a beauty. She's that woman's daughter after all."

Forgive me for being a beauty you are not.